Conflict occurs when parties are pursuing mutually incompatible goals. Not only is conflict inevitable, but it’s also normal and healthy when navigated appropriately. When you’re working in a small team within a rural and remote health environment, experiencing professional isolation, limited social opportunities, overlapping roles and finite backup, it is understandable that disagreements can surface.
It’s not a poor reflection on the people involved; it’s a feature of the setting. There is no separate team to retreat or move to, and given the reduced number of colleagues, it can feel like everyone is watching how a dispute will unfold (somewhat like a daily soap opera). It’s also likely that a disagreement, which might feel like a minor irritation in a large metropolitan service, can become the talking point of the work week in small services!
You may also feel limited in the ways you can get rid of frustrations or talk things through with someone. You may dismiss your usual support network, with whom you would normally discuss such challenges, for various reasons, including concerns about confidentiality amongst colleagues, feeling you need to protect your family from your work, or feeling that you don’t want to be a burden. Rumination can also be a common experience where you replay a difficult exchange, rehearse what should have been said, or anticipate the next encounter with the same colleague. This rumination keeps the conflict active even after the interaction has ended, which can extend the stress response well beyond the original conversation. In environments where opportunities to recover from stress are difficult due to things such as on-call demands, small support networks and dual relationships, the prolonged activation of the nervous system can compound quickly.
There are mindfulness-informed strategies you can use to help you stay grounded when conflict does arise. Mindfulness is not about staying calm to keep the peace, suppressing discomfort or smoothing over disagreements (what we would call ‘conflict avoidance’). Rather, it is about paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and without judgement. If used well, mindfulness strategies can help you engage more clearly with conflict by noticing what is actually happening, both in your body and in the exchange, rather than reacting (perhaps from habit or escalation). This is important because conflict avoidance and genuine, grounded presence can both look similar on the outside but behave very differently on the inside.
A few practical mindfulness strategies you can follow when a disagreement occurs include:
Treating bodily tension as an early signal. Physical sensations such as tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, or a knot in your stomach can all appear before you notice your irritability coming through in your speech or tone. Notice when these physical sensations occur and name them for what they are. For example, “I notice my stomach is clenched. This probably means I’m getting upset.”
Brief pause before responding. There is often a self-imposed expectation to respond immediately to someone during conflict. This is part of the fight or flight response and can be thought of as your adrenaline talking in that moment. Taking three or four slow breaths can interrupt that reactive response and create space for you to choose how you want to respond, rather than reacting by default and possibly escalating the situation.
Emotion labelling. Silently name the emotion you are experiencing, for example, “This is frustration,” or “This is defensiveness.” Research using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) has shown that this reduces amygdala reactivity and supports emotional regulation.¹
Separating the person from the position. Distinguish what a colleague is asking for from how they are asking for it. Rosenberg’s (2003) nonviolent communication framework² invites us to ask: What is the person needing right now? For example, a clinician who voices sharp disagreement in a team meeting may be expressing genuine concern about patient safety, workload, or feeling unheard. Staying curious about the need beneath the behaviour, even briefly, creates more room for understanding.
Conflict is not always handled well in the moment, and how you manage the aftermath matters just as much as the moment. Self-compassion is your priority here. Neff’s (2003) self-compassion framework³ of self-kindness over self-criticism, common humanity over isolation, and mindful awareness over over-identification with the event, can be a useful guide. Almost everyone wishes they had handled a conflict differently, and common humanity reframes this as something ordinary that others experience, rather than thinking of it as a personal failure.
Staying grounded through workplace tension is not about avoiding conflict or being unaffected by it. It is about how you tend to both the moment and the aftermath, showing the same care you would extend to your work. It’s also important to acknowledge the conditions that shape how the conflict arose. Next time you believe conflict is brewing, try using the strategies suggested and notice any difference during and after. Like any skill, it takes practice, but the more we practice, the better we become. Whilst conflict is often uncomfortable, it can also act as a catalyst for growth, resolution and change. Choose to handle conflict constructively and with care.
Be kind,
Dr Nicole Jeffery-Dawes (she/her)
Senior Psychologist, Mental Health and Wellbeing
- Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428. Accessed 23 June 2026 at https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17576282/
- Rosenberg, M. B. (2003). Nonviolent communication: A language of life. PuddleDancer Press. Accessed 23 June 2026 at https://commons.princeton.edu/eng574-s23/wp-content/uploads/sites/348/2023/04/Nonviolent-Communication-Guides-Marshall-B.-Rosenberg-Nonviolent-Communication-Puddledancer-Press-2015.pdf
- What is Self-Compassion? Self-Compassion Institute with Dr Kristin Neff. Accessed 23 June 2026 at https://self-compassion.org/what-is-self-compassion/
