Emotional intelligence (EI) is the mental ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, and empathise with others. It involves skills such as self-control, empathy, and handling interpersonal dynamics. Whilst the term ’emotional intelligence’ first appeared in 1964, it has been studied and refined ever since.
It is believed there are two types of emotional intelligence: ability, the skill to notice and understand emotions, and trait, your natural emotional style, which is part of your personality.
According to popular psychological frameworks, emotional intelligence rests on four main pillars:
Self-awareness. Recognising your own emotions, understanding how they affect your behaviour, and knowing your personal strengths and weaknesses.
Self-management. Controlling impulsive feelings, adapting to change, and keeping your reactions balanced.
Social awareness. Having empathy, reading nonverbal cues, and understanding others’ concerns or needs.
Relationship management. Communicating clearly, working well in a team, inspiring others, and resolving conflicts.
In rural and remote practice, emotional intelligence is important for a few reasons. First, within yourself, noticing and naming your own emotional state is the first step in regulation. When a situation has our full attention, it’s hard to detach from the stress we are experiencing. If we are able to ‘step back’ and notice how we are feeling and name it, it moves our brain activity from the amygdala (emotional) to the prefrontal cortex (thinking). This psychological distance also helps you separate from the feeling, so it doesn’t control your choices, and it reduces the intensity of big emotions, creating a calming effect. This is known as ‘cognitive diffusion’ in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
Second, within teams (often small groups in rural and remote work), unresolved ruptures often have nowhere to go, so they can simmer or, at worst, boil over. Teams with high emotional intelligence foster psychologically safe environments where misunderstanding and disagreements are addressed constructively, teams remain calm when there’s a crisis, and people feel genuinely heard and valued. These factors not only increase team morale and productivity, but also reduce staff turnover through higher job satisfaction.
Clinically, emotional perception underpins rapport building and encourages patient disclosure, especially in small communities where you’ll likely see or know the person outside of the clinic. Emotional intelligence also improves adherence to treatment recommendations because patients feel heard and understood, and it enhances diagnostic accuracy through active listening and picking up on subtle emotional or non-verbal cues. It also maximises patient safety through clear communication during transitions of care, such as shift handovers.
As mentioned in the beginning, emotional intelligence is a skill you can develop. Four mindful practices you can try to help build your own emotional intelligence include:
Affect labelling. Name the emotion with specific words. Rather than saying you’re “angry”, try something like “I’m frustrated”, “I’m hurt” or “I’m irritated”. You can try using the wheel of emotions to help you break down that initial label into something that narrows down the emotion you are actually experiencing.
Body scan. Set aside one minute before the next task and notice where your day is sitting in your body. Taking this time to transition out of the rush of previous tasks helps you shift by activating the parasympathetic nervous system, and step into the next space with emotional stability and clear focus.
Pause. Take one deep breath between the event and your response (for example, when someone gives the handover in a way you find frustrating and you want to correct them). Don’t suppress the emotion; take that pause to notice it and then choose how to react appropriately.
Choose curiosity over conclusion. As humans, we often make an attribution error: the tendency to explain others’ behaviour based on their character rather than their circumstances. So, when someone’s behaviour irritates you, rather than judging them as a person, ask yourself what might be true for them; for example, they are having a bad day, issues at home, or just really ‘under the pump’.
Emotional intelligence isn’t about being calm, agreeable or endlessly available. It’s about knowing what you’re feeling and what’s happening for those around you. You should choose your response rather than letting it happen automatically. Emotional Intelligence isn’t solely a trait, but a skill you can learn, practice, and build upon.
Be kind,
Dr Nicole Jeffery-Dawes (she/her)
Senior Psychologist, Mental Health and Wellbeing
