I’m sure we can all recollect a time when we’ve had one of ‘those’ days. Perhaps we’ve been swallowing our frustrations, holding back tears, or seething inside from something that’s happened. Suppressing our emotions and feelings (pushing them down rather than expressing them) is extremely common. However, it’s also very costly to us, both mentally and physically, particularly when there’s no opportunity to debrief or let that emotion go.
Emotions are our body’s rapid responses to significant events, involving changes in our physiology, thoughts and behaviour. As we become aware of those emotions, we experience them as feelings, for example, recognising that we’re anxious, angry, disappointed or relieved. Philosophers have long argued whether feelings are troublesome and need correction or whether we should let our emotions guide us.¹ However, the emotions of anger, sadness, frustration and grief are not problems to be managed away, but information that we need to listen to. Rather than treating these emotions as dysfunctional and something to be avoided, we should treat them as data. For example, anger often signifies that a boundary has been crossed or a value compromised, sadness points to a loss we have experienced, and frustration can flag a mismatch between effort and outcome.
Emotion regulation refers to the ability to monitor, evaluate and modify your emotional reactions to respond appropriately to challenges, achieve your goals, and maintain wellbeing. When we chronically suppress our emotions, it activates the sympathetic nervous system, forcing the body into a chronic fight-or-flight state, which has significant physical and mental health consequences, such as cardiovascular strain, emotional numbness, weakened immunity, and explosive outbursts.²
Suppressing our emotions is a learned behaviour that has evolved as a survival strategy when we needed it most. The good news is that we can unlearn them and find healthier, more helpful ways to express them.
Use “I” statements. Let people know exactly how you feel (appropriately, of course!) and what you need, without blaming others. For example, say, “I feel overwhelmed when tasks pile up,” rather than, “You never help.” Set clear boundaries and protect yourself by calmly telling others what you will and won’t accept.
Move your body. Release stress hormones and ground your nervous system by doing activities such as running, dancing or doing push-ups against a wall.
Engage your senses. Ground yourself through mindfulness exercises such as the “5 senses”, mindful breathing, or taking a mindful walk outside to help calm an overwhelmed nervous system. You can find some helpful tip sheets on our website.
Write it out. Journaling your experience can help release emotional weight from your mind to the page and help bring clarity and self-awareness to the situation.
Self-reflection. Take time to identify the specific emotion (try using a feelings wheel to help, starting at the centre and working outward to more nuanced feelings). You can then acknowledge it by noticing where you feel it in your body. Release any judgement and sit with the sensation for a minute or two, without trying to fix or change it.
Creative outlets. Use art, crafts, music, dancing, or even drawing with a stick in the dirt; whatever helps serve as a pressure release valve for those challenging emotions. This is a great strategy if you can’t find the right words to express them.
Talk to a professional. If your emotions feel overwhelming or unmanageable, or if you find talking things through helpful for clarity, talk to someone you trust who can provide a safe space to process complex issues. Our psychologists on the Bush Support Line can assist you at any time, day or night.
Just a note of caution: there’s a difference between expressing an emotion and dumping it. Healthy expression is regulation as it helps process the feeling, thereby reducing its intensity over time. Dumping is the opposite. Sharing raw emotion with whoever is nearest, in whatever form it takes, may provide immediate relief for you, yet it may show little regard for the impact on the person on the receiving end.
There is no such thing as “good” or “bad” emotions, but the way we express or suppress them can be helpful or unhelpful. Next time you’re experiencing big emotions, notice them as they arise and name them (the feelings wheel is there if you need) to help create a sense of space between yourself and the emotion. This can help you start creating space for better emotion regulation and healthier decision-making, rather than being overwhelmed and reacting impulsively. Learning to express your emotions in a healthy way will not only benefit your own wellbeing but also set a positive example for those around you.
Be kind,
Dr Nicole Jeffery-Dawes (she/her)
Senior Psychologist, Mental Health and Wellbeing
- ReachLink (2026). Suppressing Emotions: The Silent Toll on Your Body. Accessed 14 July 2026 at https://www.reachlink.com/advice/general/suppressing-emotions-the-silent-toll-on-your-body/
- Gross, J.J. (1998). The Emerging Field of Emotion Regulation: An Integrative Review. Review of General Psychology, 2(3). Accessed 14 July 2026 at https://oveislab.com/s/Gross-1998.pdf
