One hard day doesn’t define your whole story. Have you ever gone to bed, convinced that everything is falling apart? Maybe a hard conversation with a colleague or a patient interaction that stayed with you all day. A mistake at work. An argument at home. A day where nothing seemed to go right for you and even technology was not on your side.
And then, without even noticing, a disco kicks off in your mind. “I’m failing,” “Nothing ever works out for me,” “Things are only going to get worse.” Now, when going to bed, it suddenly feels like you have a difficult life instead of a difficult day.
Mental health professionals call this catastrophising. It’s our brain’s way of taking one challenging moment and predicting the worst possible outcome. It’s actually a normal survival response designed to keep us safe. Our brains evolved to scan for danger and help us to prepare for what might happen next. But, and the “but” is a big one: it is not always helpful. That’s because our brains don’t always know the difference between a genuine threat and a really hard day.
It can be easy for our thoughts to lose perspective when we work in rural and remote areas. The everyday challenges that also go with the everyday rewards are real. When we are tired and under pressure, our mental guard comes down, and catastrophising can slip in more easily. A hard shift can turn into, “I’m not good at my job.” A mistake can become, “I’ll never get this right,” and a setback can become, “Everything is falling apart.” Never and everything are common catastrophe words we use with ourselves, and they’re generally unhelpful.
This is where I love to bring Judge Judy into the conversation going on in our heads. I imagine her sitting at her bench, in the courtroom and asking, “Where is the evidence for that?” “Is that really true?” “What else could be true?”
Feelings are not always facts. One storm doesn’t mean that the climate has changed, and one hard day doesn’t negate all those years of learning, skill, compassion and experience. Ask yourself: “What did happen today that did go ok?” You have overcome challenges before and tomorrow has not even happened yet.
October is Mental Health Month which reminds us that looking after our mental health isn’t about pretending life is always amazing and positive. It’s about noticing when our thoughts become so focused on today’s challenges that we forget tomorrow is a new day. It is about knowing that together, we thrive and we are not meant to be alone.
If you find catastrophising stepping in, pause before answering Judge Judy, and ask yourself:
- Is this a bad day, or am I telling myself it’s a bad life?
- What evidence have I got for this thought?
- What else is true right now?
- What would I say to a friend who felt like this?
- Who could be good to talk to? (The Bush Support Line is here 24/7)
Sometimes, we don’t need to solve everything today. We can put it on a to-do list for tomorrow. Tomorrow might bring a conversation that restores your confidence or faith in people, a client that reminds you why you love your job, a laugh with a colleague, and even just a good night’s sleep that helps you see it all with fresh eyes.
Don’t let what happens today make decisions about tomorrow. Today was just one page in a very, very big book.
Stay brave, curious and kind,
MC Mandile (she/her)
Senior Psychologist, Mental Health & Wellbeing Service
