This Sunday is International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia (IDAHOBIT). The 2026 theme is “At the heart of democracy”, which serves as a powerful reminder that “the soil of truly democratic societies must be rich in meaningful equity and justice for all, fostering the flourishing of the entire community”.¹
IDAHOBIT is observed each year on May 17, commemorating the date in 1990 that the World Health Organisation made the decision to remove homosexuality from its International Classification of Diseases. Whilst Australian Federal decriminalisation occurred in 1994, it would take until 1997 for the last state in Australia to decriminalise homosexuality, and only then after a High Court decision.
No matter who we are or where we live, most people want to live in neighbourhoods and communities where they can feel safe and flourish. This theme recognises the contribution our LGBTQIA+ community has made, working alongside caring communities & their members, to help sow these seeds of change. However, globally, we are seeing a sharp rise in anti-LGBTQIA+ rhetoric and policies, particularly those targeting the trans and gender diverse community. Therefore, it is our time, as allies, to stand shoulder to shoulder with our wonderful rainbow community and work towards a better future for everyone.
We are all entitled to our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours, as long as they are not harmful to others. It’s ok if you do not agree with the LGBTQIA+ community’s beliefs and values for yourself. It is important to ask yourself, “Am I taking a non-judgmental stance towards someone who is different from me?”
A good starting point is to remind yourself of the mindfulness principle of non-judging. This involves adopting the stance of an impartial witness, working to halt automatic, critical reactions, fostering acceptance and curiosity, and reducing emotional reactivity. It’s about acknowledging that something is different because it ‘just is’, rather than trying to force it to be something different, something that makes us more comfortable, or ‘the same as me’.
Some actions you can take to cultivate a non-judging mindset include:
Label judgements. A thought is simply that: a thought. Notice when a judgmental thought arises and label it as a “thought”, rather than a fact. For example, you may see a same-sex couple with their child. You may have the automatic thought, “That’s not what a ‘real’ family looks like.” Reframing and mindfully labelling could look something like, “I notice I’m having the thought that this doesn’t fit my idea of a family. That’s just a thought and probably comes from the learnings I absorbed growing up. It’s not a fact.”
Automatic thoughts aren’t character flaws, nor are they the truth. They are matching patterns our brains use, based on our past experiences. The goal of labelling these thoughts isn’t about punishing yourself, but defusing them, or unhooking from the thought, so it doesn’t silently drive your behaviour.
Approach with curiosity. Instead of reacting, try to approach uncomfortable thoughts or sensations with curiosity, like a child exploring the world. Using the example above of the same-sex family, you might gently turn your thoughts to something like, “I wonder what their story is? How did they come together? What is it like navigating the world for them? What might I learn from them that I’ve never had the chance to consider before?”
This curiosity isn’t about family structure or sexuality, but rather seeing them as people, which is exactly how this family want to be seen. Approaching with curiosity also sends signals of safety to yourself and gives you the chance to update old mental maps naturally through connection, rather than willpower or effort.
Rephrase thoughts. You can now gently rephrase the thought in a way that is more aligned with your values. For example, “That’s not what a real family looks like,” can be rephrased to, “That family looks different from what I grew up seeing, and families come in all different shapes and sizes.” Or even, “Here’s a family that found their way to each other, and that is kind of beautiful.”
Rephrasing shouldn’t feel forced or fake. It should feel honest, reflect reality more fully than snap judgment based on stereotypes, and sound like the values-guided person you genuinely want to be.
If standing together with our rainbow community to actively cultivate change doesn’t sit with you, that’s ok. However, this is not an excuse to cause harm through judgment and/or discrimination. If it doesn’t affect you directly, ask yourself why you are so concerned about it to begin with. The core principles of democracy are equality and freedom for all citizens, and accountability of leaders and their decisions. At the very least, honour the right for people to be their authentic selves and to feel safe doing so, just as you want for yourself.
If you are passionate about supporting your local LGBTQIA+ community, get involved through volunteering, undertaking visible allyship by using inclusive language and/or calling out discrimination, and/or directly supporting organisations such as Minus18 or QLife. Attend events, listen to lived experiences, and patronise businesses owned or operated by LGBTQIA+ people. No matter how big or small your contribution, any positive action helps create a democracy that is true to its principles.
Be kind,
Dr Nicole Jeffery-Dawes (she/her)
Senior Psychologist, Mental Health and Wellbeing
- IDAHOBIT 2026. May17.org. Updated 01 January 2026. Accessed 30 March 2026. https://may17.org/2026/idahobit2026-theme/
