World Menopause Day reminds us to keep talking, because rules can change, even when nobody gives us updates.
You walk into a room and forget why you are there. You are talking and can’t seem to find that word, “You know, where the water runs down the rocks, and there is lots of water at the end… that’s it! A waterfall.” Something that normally wouldn’t bother you suddenly feels like a huge deal. You have driven everywhere and all of a sudden, driving brings anxiety with it. You are exhausted, but sleep seems to have other plans. Somewhere between the hot flush, the 3 am wake-up, and searching for the glasses sitting on your head, you start to wonder, “What’s going on with me?”
For many of us experiencing perimenopause and menopause, these moments, especially at the onset, can be confusing, frustrating and sometimes a bit scary. The onset of suddenly developing crazy sleep patterns, brain fog, irritability, anxiety and depression, and emotional regulation challenges, to name a few things, can all have a significant psychological impact.
World Menopause Day, on 18 October, gives us an opportunity to talk more openly about a transition that affects half of the world’s population but remains surprisingly invisible.
Perimenopause and menopause are often talked about as involving hot flushes, but there are so many more symptoms. Changes can include brain fog, muscle and joint pains, heart beating quickly, less sexual desire, anxiety, itchy skin, and the list goes on! The Jean Hailes Clinic has the perimenopause and menopause symptom checklist, which is a great resource if you are trying to make sense of any unusual physical or mental changes.
For someone working in healthcare, these changes can feel unsettling. You might be the person others go to for answers, yet you suddenly find yourself losing your train of thought in a meeting or consult. You may have spent years managing emergencies calmly, then suddenly feel overwhelmed by something you have seen or done a thousand times. The restless nights sleep begin to impact our mental health as we start to become more irritable, notice mood swings and decreases in our energy levels, which is really not the person we are.
It can be easy for our inner critic to jump in, saying things like, “I should be coping better,” “There is something wrong with me,” or many of those comments that we would never say to anyone else. BUT what if your body has changed the rules, and you are still trying to play by the old ones?
Rural and remote work can add another layer. Long shifts, disrupted sleep, professional isolation and being away from our usual supports can make it difficult to work out whether it’s exhaustion or hormonal. That’s why information and having conversations matter. Knowledge is power.
Good places to start include Jean Hailes for Women’s Health, which provides Australian, evidence-based information about perimenopause and menopause. The Australasian Menopause Society, also provides evidence-based resources and a practitioner directory. Some doctors specialising in menopause offer telehealth appointments, which are always handy when living in rural and remote areas.
This stage of transition is not something women should have to “push through”. Often women carry the challenges of perimenopause and menopause alongside a busy life, parenting, supporting elderly parents, work, relationship changes, and the list can go on. For all of us, including colleagues and managers, awareness matters too. Sometimes support can be as simple as asking, “How are you doing?” “Is there anything that would make work a little easier at the moment?” or even, “What do you need?”
This World Menopause Day, let’s all learn a little more, and make room for conversations about bodies that change, brains that sometimes feel foggy, hot flushes that can light up a room, and people who remain every bit as skilled, knowledgeable and valuable as they were before.
If symptoms are affecting your work, relationships, everyday activities, quality of life, or curiosity, reach out to your GP or another appropriately qualified health professional. Check out the previously mentioned websites for lists of practitioners who specialise in this area.
And if you find yourself standing in the tearoom, wondering why you walked in there?
Pause.
Be kind to yourself.
Your body may be changing the rules, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn the new rules and play to win.
Stay brave, curious and kind,
MC Mandile (she/her)
Senior Psychologist, Bush Support Line.
