How many times has someone complimented you and, before it’s even registered, you’re deflecting it? You could be saying something like, “It was nothing,” “I was just doing my job,” or “Anyone would have done the same.”
In rural and remote health, this kind of minimising can sometimes feel like a professional requirement. We work in small teams where teamwork is prized, and often there’s an unspoken culture of just getting on with things, rather than drawing attention to someone’s contribution. Humility is genuinely valued in this environment and can help keep us grounded. However, deflecting behaviour is different from humility and can quietly erase our effort and actions. True humility also isn’t the same as compliance, nor is it about staying quiet to avoid conflicts.
Humility can be thought of as thinking about yourself accurately, which includes understanding that your beliefs might be incorrect or wrong, accepting that your knowledge is limited, being willing to change your mind when you see new proof, and being comfortable holding your views without feeling the need to defend your ego. You are also willing to update that picture of yourself when you receive new information, such as a compliment or feedback. A humble clinician can still advocate for themselves, hear out others’ points of view with an open mind, want to learn new facts, and comfortably take up space knowing their worth isn’t tied to being right all the time. Humility can be confused with low self-worth; however they are two quite different things.
Humility is worth cultivating, particularly in team-based environments, and there’s some good evidence around this.
Better team learning. Research has found that leaders who demonstrate humility through admitting mistakes, acknowledging others’ contributions and staying open to feedback tend to foster teams with higher engagement and more willingness to speak up.¹ This is important in health settings, where speaking up about your concerns or an error can prevent harm.
Less defensive processing. People with greater intellectual humility tend to engage more openly with information that challenges their views, rather than reflexively dismissing it. One study found that humility was associated with variables related to openness, curiosity, tolerance of ambiguity, and low dogmatism.²
Increased psychological safety. When humility is modelled from the top, it becomes safer to admit uncertainty or mistakes early, rather than things building up and compounding. Leaders who show that it’s ok not to know everything have positive effects on how they/the team perceive they are performing, increased actual performance and relationships.³
Protection against over-functioning. When people do not feel the need to constantly prove their competence, people can feel less pressure to overextend themselves. Thus, reducing one of the contributors to burnout in high-demand roles.
However, humility can become a problem when it shifts from that quiet sense of self into false modesty, passivity or self-erasure. Instead of keeping the ego in check, it stops you from sharing your true value or protecting your boundaries. It can often show up in behaviours such as deflecting recognition so often that your contribution genuinely becomes invisible to others; difficulty asking for support, supervision or fair conditions because you feel it’s an imposition to do so; a vulnerability to being overlooked for opportunities; or doing more than your fair share of the workload because you keep telling people you “don’t mind”.
Practising grounding humility, rather than tipping into self-erasure, is actually a form of self-compassion. We’ve discussed Neff’s (2003) model of self-compassion previously, and it’s worth reviewing and treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer others, recognising that this struggle is part of the shared human experience and maintaining a balanced awareness of your own shortcomings.
A few ways to practice seeing yourself in an accurate, kind way include:
Humility vs self-worth. “Could I be wrong about this?” is a humility question. “Do I matter?” is a self-worth question. Keep these two distinct, as humility should never be used to answer questions about your self-worth, as this question asks if you should be allowed to take up space, and can lead to self-erasure.
Try accurate self-appraisal. When someone acknowledges your contribution, notice the urge to minimise it, and practice replying with a simple “thank you” instead of deflecting it. Don’t be modest, as you more than likely deserved the compliment.
Rehearse boundary language. Saying phrases such as, “I can take that on, but something will have to give,” allows you to collaborate without silently absorbing more than is sustainable, and without the need to give a direct no (unless you want to).
Feedback from curiosity, not for validation. Rather than asking, “Was that ok?” ask, “Am I missing anything?” as this will keep your mind open without needing reassurance about your worth.
At its best, humility is a quiet strength where you can hold both your limitations and your confidence comfortably in the same hand. But we need to keep it healthy by wrapping it in self-worth and boundaries so that it remains nurtured and valued by you. This week, notice the difference between the two, and where you might be quietly practising unhelpful behaviours and practise responding with humility. True humility means learning to see yourself clearly, not learning to disappear.
Be kind,
Dr Nicole Jeffery-Dawes (she/her)
Senior Psychologist, Mental Health and Wellbeing
- Owens, B. P., & Hekman, D. R. (2012). Modeling how to grow: An inductive examination of humble leader behaviors, contingencies, and outcomes. Academy of Management Journal, 55(4), 787–818. Accessed 07 August 2026 at https://doi.org/10.5465/amj.2010.0441
- Leary, M.R., Diebels, K.J., Davisson, E.K., Jongman-Sereno, K.P., Isherwood, J.C., Raimi, K.T., Deffler, S.A. & Hoyle, R.H.(2017). Cognitive and Interpersonal Features of Intellectual Humility. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 43(6):793-813. Accessed 07 August 2026 at https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167217697695
- Lehmann, M., Pery, S., Kluger, A.N., Hekmann, D.R., Owens, B.P. & Malloy, T.E. (2022). Relationship-Specific (Dyadic) Humility: How Your Humility Predicts My Psychosocial Safety and Performance. Journal of Applied Psychology, 108(5) 809-825. Accessed 07 August 2026 at https://scholar.google.com.au/scholar_url?url=https://leeds-faculty.colorado.edu/dahe7472/Lehmannhekman2023.pdf&hl=en&sa=X&ei=d0x1avGAJc2v6rQP59WbkAk&scisig=AM1tuoOmgU0ywaZiRr826Eu9-iHq&oi=scholarr
