After a delayed return to Victoria after a road trip to the Kimberley, there was a lot of time for reflecting on the spaces between people, services, and moments of being seen. Rural and remote work does have its challenges, including distance, which reminded me of the importance of the little things we do to connect.
On our road trip, straight up the centre of Australia, I was reminded by how easily we can all connect with one another. Take “the wave”, for example. Depending on which state you are in (Victoria and the south of South Australia, what’s going on?), it might be a finger lifted from the steering wheel to a full-hand-out-the-window acknowledgement between strangers passing each other. It doesn’t slow down the drive or interfere with the journey, but it does something important: it says, “I see you; you’re not travelling alone.”
“The wave” can become part of a rhythm over the course of hours of driving. It regulates our nervous system with a moment of connection. It was often a reminder that there are other humans out there, moving through the remote centre, just like us. It was a small gesture, but it really mattered.
Then there was a vehicle breakdown.
About 200km after leaving Coober Pedy, we lost the wheel bearing on the trailer. On the side of the road, lucky to have a bit of phone reception, we set up camp for a few hours, waiting for a tow truck to arrive. No one knew us. No one had to stop, but they did. We had several cars offering food, water, phone use, and anything else they could think of.
For many of us, this will feel familiar. The quiet check-ins between colleagues and patients/clients. The text sent after a hard meeting or maybe even a cuppa left on a desk. Noticing the one who is still in the building long after their shift is supposed to end and asking, “Are you okay?” Remembering the staff member’s child’s name, who’s had things going on. Waving off someone heading home after a long shift.
From a nervous system perspective, these moments are important. These little things are the small cues of safety that help us stay grounded, feel safe, and connected. When our work involves a lot of trauma exposure, workforce shortages, and performing many different roles, our nervous systems are constantly scanning for safety and stability. The nervous system asks things like “Am I alone?”, “Is it safe to be here?”, and “Can I rest?”
These little gestures can answer these questions, without the need for a meeting, a policy, or even supervision (although these are also really important). For First Nations peoples, connection has always been understood as central to wellbeing, including connecting to Country, family, story and community. Many of us in rural and remote areas learn this from lived experience, not from textbooks. You feel it when the connection is there, and you really notice it when it is not.
Maybe this week, consider those little things that are already a part of your day.
The wave.
The nod.
The check-in cuppa.
The pause to ask, “Are you okay?”
The moment you sit beside another in silence, without having to speak.
These are the moments that help to keep us, and others, safe. They are protective factors which we need in our lives, and not just extra things we can do.
If you are not feeling connected, it is okay to reach out to others in your workplace, at home, in your community, or on the Bush Support Line, which is here 24/7 for you on 1800 805 391. A shared laugh, an understanding voice on the phone, or a knowing look across a room can really make a difference.
If you are in a position to make a small gesture and offer connection, do not underestimate its impact. Give a wave (I may be directing this at you, Victorians and South Australians. In fairness, I didn’t go through Queensland or NSW, but I will be watching out next time I’m in your space!). It can mean so much to someone.
We wave and pull over because it is how we look after each other on the road. It should be no different in our workplaces.
Stay brave, curious, and kind.
MC Mandile (she/her)
Senior Psychologist, Bush Support Line
